Blah-g

Man, today I have really hit a wall. I only have 7 days left here but I feel like I am going to wail on somebody if one more person comes in this office and asks me one more question! These last few days feel eternal. I am so close, yet I still have 7 days left and right now that feels like an eternity.

I am pretty nervous about coming home. I know that I will feel much better when I get there but right now I am just feeling nervous overall. I haven't lost any weight since I've been here - I started off with a bang and then I met Heather and we both fell off the wagon and never quite got back on - I am a sucker for peer pressure and have spent much more time hanging out every night with friends instead of hitting the gym like I planned. So I am nervous to see anybody because most people are expecting that I am going to come back and be a skinny minny, and they are going to be sorely disappointed. I am very disappointed in myself, enough for everyone.

I am also nervous because I don't want to let anybody down when I get home - my friends and family are eager to see me but there are really only two things I want to do when I get back: 1) spend some much needed time alone...I haven't had that in four months and I am desperate for some solace and the freedom to just do nothing at all or to hop on the Metro and spend the day at the museums, and 2) spend as much time as I can with my new neice - hibernating in Megan's house and just getting to know the little gal. It's all I want to do - my entire focus is on getting there and spending every minute with her because she's gonna grow up so fast in between our visits after August. I love living in DC but it is going to be hard not being close to see her little milestones. So I just want to eat this time up while I've got it. I don't want to miss a minute.

I don't know, I'm just eaten up inside with all of these thoughts and I am sure they will go away once I'm home but the anticipation of it is so strange. While I am BESIDE MYSELF with excitement about returning to the states, that comes along with a lot of nervousness, too. The best part, though, is I get to see my DOGS. I can't believe I made it through over four months without them. Never again.

My replacement gets here at 0330 on Wednesday morning and I will spend three days training him and then I'll be running around for the last three days just getting everything together. Hopefully I'll be able to spend one last day off-base, too - to do those things that I haven't gotten around to and see a little more of this country that I'll never return to. :-)

That's it for now, sorry to be such a complainer but hey, it's MY blog. ;-)

Love! Kelly